I Am Nervous: How I Calmed My Dysregulated Nervous System and Took Back Control

Ever Been So Nervous You Could Feel It in Your Bones?

Oh man… I can’t believe I’m sharing this.

One of my worst speaking moments ever was early in my career.
A talk for a Building Association in Sydney.

I was so nervous I wore a black shirt and pants just to hide the sweat stains.
(Pro tip: it didn’t work.)

By the time I got off stage, the CEO shook my hand and said,
“Myke… have you done this before?”

Yeah. That one haunts me.
I bombed.
Not because I didn’t prepare — but because I didn’t know how to manage my dysregulated nervous system.

The crazy part?
Those same nerves still show up before every keynote, every workshop, every big moment.
The difference is… they don’t control me anymore.

Here’s what changed everything 👇

1. Nervousness Isn’t Mental — It’s Physical

Your body isn’t out to get you.
It’s trying to help you.

When you say “I am nervous,” what’s actually happening is your body flooding with adrenaline — a chemical designed to boost performance.

But when that energy has nowhere to go, it shakes, races, panics.
So you need to move.

Before I go on stage, I walk briskly, do lunges, or ju

mping jacks (yep, I look ridiculous… but it works).
Movement burns off the excess adrenaline and brings your dysregulated nervous system back into balance.

Manage the symptoms → manage the nerves.

That’s the first rule.

2. Nerves Shrink When You Shift the Focus

When I’m nervous, I’m focused on me.
When I’m in service, I’m focused on them.

That mental flip changes everything.

The moment I stopped asking,
“How can I impress them?”
and started asking,
“How can I serve them?”
—the pressure disappeared.

Before every talk, I tell myself:
“Myke, it’s not about you. It’s about them.”
(Sometimes I literally say it out loud 😂).

Try it.
It instantly quiets the anxious voice that says “I am nervous.”

Because service kills self-consciousness.

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3. You’re Not Nervous Because You’re Broken — You’re Just Inexperienced

A dysregulated nervous system isn’t a flaw.
It’s feedback.

It’s your brain saying, “Hey, I don’t recognise this yet!”

That’s not failure — it’s newness.
The more you do the thing, the more your system adapts.

Do it more → Fear goes down → Confidence goes up.

Don’t wait to feel ready.
Do the thing anyway.
Then do it again.
And again.

Because confidence doesn’t come from knowing what to do.
It comes from doing it while scared.

Remember: you drive the car — it doesn’t drive you.

How to Calm a Dysregulated Nervous System Fast

Here’s what’s worked for me (and anyone who’s ever said “I am nervous”):

Move. Walk, stretch, shake out your limbs.

Breathe intentionally. Try 4-7-8 breathing: inhale 4, hold 7, exhale 8.

Ground yourself. Feel your feet. Name 3 things you can see, 2 things you can touch, 1 sound you can hear.

Cold exposure. Splash cold water on your face or hands — it resets your vagus nerve.

• Smile. Literally. It triggers the parasympathetic system — the body’s “calm” mode.

These small physical cues teach your nervous system that you’re safe — even when your brain says otherwise.

The Truth About Nerves

The nerves never go away.
Not even after hundreds of stages, interviews, or presentations.

But they don’t need to.

Nerves mean you care.
They’re energy — just waiting to be directed.

When you stop fighting them and start using them, that’s when power shows up.

So whatever your “stage” looks like —
A meeting.
A pitch.
A hard conversation.

Feel the nervousness.
Then step forward anyway.

Because every time you do, your dysregulated nervous system learns a new language: confidence.

FAQs About Nerves & Regulation

1. Why do I always feel nervous before big events?
Because your body’s stress response is firing — it’s not weakness, it’s biology.

2. Can I really control my nervous system?
Yes. You can’t stop adrenaline, but you can guide it through breathing, movement, and focus.

3. What if I have chronic anxiety?
Start small. Regulate daily with routines like exercise, journaling, and grounding. Over time, your baseline calm increases.

4. Does everyone feel nervous before speaking or performing?
Absolutely. Even pros. The only difference is — they’ve learned to dance with it.

5. What’s the fastest way to calm down when I’m panicking?
Exhale longer than you inhale. It signals your brain to switch from fight-or-flight to rest-and-digest.

Final Line:
So if you’re sitting there thinking “I am nervous,” remember this — your body isn’t broken. It’s just learning. And every time you step up anyway, your dysregulated nervous system becomes your biggest ally.